pet·ti·fog·ger

Etymology: probably from petty + obsolete English fogger pettifogger
1 : a lawyer whose methods are petty, underhanded, or disreputable : SHYSTER
2 : one given to quibbling over trifles

I HATE emotions. Usually. Except, of course, that if they didn't exist, I couldn't hate them, or anything else.

This is one of my parents' favorite things to do: whenever they catch me using the word LOVE or HATE in a statement, they often repeat it with greatly exaggerated expression, as if trying to imply that I am being somewhat dramatic. They would have you believe that I overuse the words, applying them to things too "petty" for such strong language. I disagree. I just happen to have very strong feelings about EVERYTHING.

So, this is my frustration with emotions: sometimes when I get mad about something I cannot figure out why exactly I am mad, or if I even should be mad. (This never happens with being happy, by the way, usually people do not question the validity of happiness, although maybe they should...)

So how do I know whether my feelings are valid or not? I can usually tell pretty easily when other people's feelings are invalid. That is to say, when other people are mad at me, I can quite often convince myself that they really have no good reason to be mad at me. I am pretty great at justifying my end of the argument.

I am not trying to say that I should supress my emotions, but that it would be incredibly helpful to be able to step outside of situations - to somehow be unbiased in figuring out whether I have actually been wronged or not. (To avoid being a pettifogger).

I have come to realize that I am a lot to deal with. I also usually feel quite confident that I am, however, worth the effort. Now, if only everyone else would realize they are a lot to deal with - we might all be better off. Well, maybe it would be more helpful if I reminded them (and myself) that they are worth the effort, too.