mytho·ma·nia

: an excessive or abnormal propensity for lying and exaggerating

My sister used to have this horrible habit of lying - even sometimes when it did no one, even herself, any favors. It was like she just loved to get away with making someone else believe something that wasn't true...just for fun...

My parents were less than thrilled about this.

I think the thing that got her started on lying was the fact that she hated brushing her teeth, and wanted to avoid doing it as much as possible. I'm betting that she just got hooked on the adrenaline rush of passing the goodnight-kiss test and getting into bed with out her hygiene-deficient, foul mouth being found out. (Can't you just imagine her thinking, AH ha ha ha...my mouth is disgusting and nobody knows but me, I am a genuis!...I can imagine it).

Eventually, though, she matured and grew out of it. I, on the other hand, might be growing into it...(not skipping brushing my teeth, just to be clear - in fact, I am usually told by dentists that I need to brush LESS often).

I am not trying to diagnose myself as a mythomaniac, or anything. I have just been aware, lately, of how easily and quickly I might lie in certain situations.

Common lie situation #1: at work

I am still pretty new at my job, so when I am on the phone with a student, it isn't super rare for them to ask me a question I don't quite know the answer to. But after the first couple of weeks, it kind of got annoying when people kept asking to be transferred to someone who knew what they were talking about. So I realized that it just works better for me to say what I think could be the answer, and say it with confidence, so as to avoid their lack of faith in my information. I'm sure you agree.

Common lie situation #2: no reason at all

Again, I am pretty new to the area, so there have been lots of new places and people and experiences. And I have found that I might have a tendency to lie a little bit to random strangers...possibly as a form of defense or something. Actually, not really sure why at all.

For instance, I was shopping at the fabric shop the other day and when I went to get my fabric cut there was a boy at the counter. This was strange to me. I have never had a boy cut my fabric at a fabric shop. Not saying its bad...its just that I suppose I have come to expect that my fabric will be cut by women, generally in their 50's, and generally wearing something homemade. Possibly with a cat theme. So, I guess I was a little thrown. Anyway, it would seem this boy knows his stuff...he knew to ask me what I was working on. I wouldn't have expected that either, and I think that is why I made something up. The truth is, I was going to reupholster a chair. What I told him, however, was that I was lining a jacket.

I wish I could tell you. Somehow, it must have felt way too intimate to share my upholstery plans with this boy.

Common lie #3: a more interesting answer to "what did you do today?"

I used to do this a lot with Jamie when we were first dating. I guess I just thought that he would think that I was a really boring person if I couldn't come up with something really interesting and great that I did that day and would want to stop calling me...maybe. Or maybe I was just bored with myself and wanted to pretend I was more interesting than I was. Anyway. I am really doing my best to not lie to him anymore, so you know. I think I realized that if I started to tell him all of the ridiculous or embarrassing things about me, it was really even more fun than making something up...mostly because it didn't completely freak him out! Well, not yet anyway. I mean, I don't know if I've told him about my lying habits yet...

sin·is·ter

1 archaic : unfavorable, unlucky
2 archaic : fraudulent
3 : singularly evil or productive of evil
4 a : of, relating to, or situated to the left or on the left side of something b : of ill omen by reason of being on the left
5 : presaging ill fortune or trouble6 : accompanied by or leading to disaster

I have a number of left-handed people in my life, and have long been after an explanation as to why they seem to be a particularly difficult bunch. Okay, that may not be exactly fair...or true, but it is nice to have a little extra ammunition for arguments with those of the left-hand persuasion.

Some ill-fortune as a result of left-handedness occurred this morning. I went over to Jamie's house early to iron his shirt so he would look all dapper for easter (I could let you go on thinking how ridiculous it is that he doesn't know how to iron his own shirt, but I have to confess that this is really my issue - he doesn't exactly iron to my standards, so I'd rather do it myself. I know. Perhaps it's a little overbearing, but it doesn't seem to bother him since it means he doesn't have to iron). He was all excited to wear his hot new madras tie and had looked up a different way to tie it just for the occasion. So as I was watching him tie his tie I noticed that he was doing a few things backwards (slash wrong). Not that I love pointing out when he's wrong...I don't...but I thought I should maybe help him out, since I noticed and all.

As you can probably guess, my criticism was not very well received. Not that I can blame him...I mean, who wants to hear that they are unable to follow simple, illustrated instructions? But seriously, why let someone do something wrong when you know how to do it right? Maybe I should have just stayed out of it and let him figure it out on his own. Oh well. I blame the left-handedness. It is evil, afterall.